it's the exam period now and we are all busy mugging.
i hope that all my classmates and i do well.

thoughts have been filled out totally lately.
well, things have not exactly changed much.
and the situation is still about the same.
i don't know what the future holds for us,
but i guess we have no choice but to take a step at a time?

i've been thinking how things would have been different if i've already gotten my diploma. well , maybe it's God's test on me.
life's unfair, yes . but i believe that one day, i will also bask in my own happiness.
one day, when things get better.

sometimes i feel like a lie, a total facade.
i laugh, i joke , i fool around with my friends, but deep down inside, i don't feel good at all . it's hard, when at that moment of happiness , that moment of laughter never lasts. reality is hard. the truth of my life still has to be faced.
friend's are God's gift somehow.
i really wished i had somehow to lean on, someone who would understand and not judge. it's hard to be facing everything alone. when family is not near and friends don't know. i hate that feeling of loneliness, especially haunting whenever i'm alone and my thoughts go wild ):
sometimes i keep trying to get back that moment of happiness, that very moment of laughter, and maybe that's why my friends say my laughter is crazy :)
but somethings when gone, never comes back.

i envy those people with both parents by their sides.
maybe because i have neither parent by my side.
mummy , i miss you. really.
so people , cherish your parents.
i see my friends posting on facebook how their parents do so much for them.
like buying them a new phone or just singing them a song on their birthday.
it's never the material things, but it's just heartwarming :)
somehow i wished my family could be like that.
each family has it's own problems, but sometimes i feel funny that quarrels happen over the smallest of things. it's definitely not worth it :x

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i find it so hard to trust now.
it's like i can't seem to differentiate between words of truth and lies.

anyway, ending this post on a positive note .
i shall study harder for the coming exams and do well :)
it's the only way i can somehow do something for the future.
i hope my classmates would too.
<3