i'm sorry for neglecting this blog for so long. actually i shouldn't be posting since it's still officially exam period for me until wednesday. but i've got too many things on my mind and i can't seem to be studying effectively. yes, you're right. look at the time now. i'm burning midnight oil for my chemistry. i'm trying the 10-year series and i hope it helps . i'm needing someone to rant to, but the person i trust ain't available right now, so yeah. i've decided to rant here .

it's mother's day today, and we didn't really do anything special. don't ask me why. hmm, i really don't know what i should do. i have to straighten out my thoughts and really decide what i should do next. i can't afford to make this wrong move.

you know, some of my friends say its nice to be independent. to be able to do everything you want to do without too much parent's intervention. but sometimes, this just isn't the case. but what to do? my mum'm always busy. you know, coming home to an empty house, having to wash and iron my own clothes, buy/cook my own food, tidying up the house before studying may not seem such a hard chore to do. but, when you're in a bad mood, or when stress is piling up because of the exam period, it's really really hard. i'm sorry. i didn't mean to be such a disappointment ):

it's making me so tense that it's my o level year. and i'm really trying to pull my grades up. even though they still aren't good enough or how they used to be ; i'm really happy that at least now i can do the papers that i can't used to do. i'm happy that at least i won't step out of the examination hall deeming an F9 :D i would try harder , yes i would . even if i failed, i swear i would try my best to pull myself up again. however, life seems to be really unfair, i admit that there are times when i can be pretty demanding. but please, tell me, who won't be? i just feel so empty at how things are now. i'm still hoping that they would turn for the better.

i really want to give up now )':

BUT ;

i'm not backing away. i'm gonna hold the stuff i love, dearly. and count on a new beginning, a reason for living and a deeper meaning :D

i shall go back to mugging chemistry now, and oh. i'm addicted to coffee. the hazelnut white coffee is niceeee :D sorry for all these rantings. *thousand apologies. wish me luck for my remaining papers !

God bless .

<3