i dont know how to stay anymore.
i wont give in any longer.
even if it means i'll have to go.
cause i'm done.
i've done all that i could.
it seems all hope is gone.
cause finding someone to talk to,
to understand.
is either simply impossible or too hard.
i hope i could help too,
instead of being more of a trouble..
but, I'm sorry.
i will never measure up to who you want me to be.
i don't know why i have to think of that someone as that..
when that someone does'nt even regard me like that too.
i mean...
why is life so unfair?
i have to "ren" when he ruins my day..
which practically means everyday.
i can't go out with you,
cause he's too naughty.
does the world revolve around him?
don't i exist too?
you said you don't have enough money.
but he's spending money like water,
but you just spoil him.
he's just spoilt rotten.
you know, i was'nt threatening you
when i said it was affecting me.
cause it is.
i don't feel in the least happy..
even if i was,
when i walk in.
my mood will just be ruined.
I won't bother to pack,
nor do housework anymore.
cause you don't bother.
ever know how much work i put in?
to keep the house clean?
but when he messes it up..
you'll simply say,
" i'll ask him to clean it up."
will he?
who does it in the end? me.
my rice too dry huh?
then don't eat what i cook larrhs.
i wont bother to cook for him the next time.
I'm sick and tired.
i really am.
true smiles and laughter..
rarely appear this days.
many people said i was lucky,
that you loved me alot.
i know that,
i really do.
but sometimes, i really wonder,
why won't you stop him?
why won't you stop spoiling him.
i mean, you don't spoil me.
even a compliment is hard to get from you.
I'm afraid of results.
i bet the among the 5 girls who failed amath,
one is bound to be me.
and i'll be down for PTC
tears never dry up do they?
I want to smile, I want to be happy.
I want to be good, I want to get good grades.
I want to be trusted, I want to be nice.
but first,
i have to be allowed to.
