i missed school today :D
cause i threw up in the morning.
ahahs, but DAMN
there was a listening compre today :x

i had enough of everything.
you told me you sms-ed me
cause you dont wanna be in the middle.
so i gave you a choice.

and you turned it around
and said that i made things more complicated.
idk ... :X
i'm so dissapointed.

i'm scared that history will repeat itself.
i'm scared to lose you.
i'm scared all will happen again.
thats why i cannot forgive.

i know its hard for you too.
i'm sorry i have to do this.
but i really dont understand.
if i were in your shoes...
i would choose and get on with life.
i guess its only me.

i really don't want to drag it on and on.
i'm only torturing myself.
i can just get a call from one
of you and my tears come unknowingly.
i just cry and cry...
and the thing is i don't know why.

i hate to drag this on.
its all my fault.
i forced all of you.
i'm the stubborn one.
i guess i'll just take the blame and give up.

i can't salvage this.
not on my own.
but when i asked...
i was blamed for making things complicated.

i guess...
thats what i got for helping you.
for giving you a choice.
its not that i don't treasure this.
i don't want to be the next one.

this time it was you.
next time it will be me.
i cannot be assured that we will patch up time and again.
i guess this marks the end.
thanks really.

i will fondly remember everything(:
i guess i will slowly be me again.
i told **** that we were fine.
so i don't wanna transfer.
but this things happening again.

and so i read my old post.
that friends and teachers held me back.
but teachers are different next year..
and my friends are...
so yea.
its a good reason for me to move on(:

ahahas :D
anyways, results ain't
too bad either.
so maybe...
just maybe...

but i'm not running away
just yet.
i'll have to face it tomorrow.
and if there's still no answer.
i guess i'll make mine.
though i hate to do it.

its harder for me.
can you imagine...
going to school everyday.
then looking at your friends,
and thinking whether they can be trusted?
are they true or fake.
i dun wanna do that.

i wanna talk to you.
but i can't.
because i know you want to be friends with her.
i'm scared i screw things up for you.
cause if you quarrel with adelle, you don't offend me.
i'm scared i'll make life difficult for you.

so now do you understand?
why i'm so persistent in making
you come up with an decision?
you can blame me.
i don't mind.
if it makes you happy.
cause you're my bestest friend.

if you asked me what i want.

of course i will ask you to choose to be my friend.

but i cant force you.

i cant make you do anything.

i'll just have to accept.

even if i'm sad.

i know the whole story.

i can tell if to you.

just ask me.

i ask you to make a choice cause of this.

i know maybe you won't believe it.

but its true.

i don't know..

i have no one to trust.

do you know how it feels?