♥ know that you hold my heart, my hopes, in your hands .

fyi, i'm not angry.
i'm dissapointed.
i thought we could sort things out today.

sorry. didnt know you quarelled
with your mum :x
hope you both are okay soon.

i'm so so so...
i don't know what to do.
i really miss-ed the times.
but i'm helpless.

i can't promise you anything,
except that one place in my heart.
that no one can ever replace.

i really hope that
you'll make a decision.
but i cannot force you.

you know why i cant talk to you?
cause i'm afraid i'll screw things for you.
i know you're also scared.
that they become angry.

i don't want you to
become a victim of my happiness.
i don't want to
bring hurt to you.
so i'm doing everything myself.
in silence...

i wanna tell you everything.
i wanna hug you and never
let you go.
i wanna cry out loud.
but i cant...

cause i really really
dont want to make life
hard for you as it had been for me.

its hard as i go to school,
wanting to talk to you,
but cant.

its like taking drugs,
and having the withdrawal symptoms.
its really hard...
i'm sorry.

i wanna be the me again.
all the tears and hurt...
i forgotten the real me.

maybe...
we shall really find a day to talk.
and maybe that time.
both of us must turn up.
i wanna tell you why i cant forgive.
why i cant forget.
its not that i'm showing my temper.
but if you dont believe me...
i cannot do anything.
cause i really told the truth.
she may say whatever she wants.
i also cant do anything.
cause i have no evidence...
so its only up to your heart.
follow your heart and see
who you want to believe.
after you have heard me, ya?

~ i'll pretend to hug you, until you get here(: